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Old 06-28-2011, 05:47 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
. . . if there is no time stamp, it can sound like you'll run away whenever it stops being practical, you know what I mean? If you say "I'll be there for you, except at any point I might decide not to be anymore" . . .
Well, see, the way you're putting it looks like the commitment is not being taken seriously and is belittled in some way if it isn't forever. Hogwash! If I commit to giving and nurturing my partner in the best way possible, to be there for them through thick and thin, and to always have their back, that would also include letting the relationship go if that was what was needed for the person to thrive and be healthy emotionally. I do not need them to be tethered to me for me to love, encourage, and support them. It's not about running away when it suits me but looking at how a relationship has evolved and seeing if there is a need to part company. If a relationship ends, it isn't necessarily a failure or lack of commitment -- it could be exactly what the relationship needed.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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