Paring this down
Sorry I was long-winded and may have sounded hostile.
My basic question is: How do you help your partner when his secondary partner dumps him?
Also, it's not that I don't want a poly relationship that includes us both or in which I am an equal participant. I do. But, I think we have to find a third partner together. If my husband goes off and does it on his own, s/he's his partner, not mine. It would be like an arranged marriage.
I'm just frustrated that I have to pick up the pieces. Again. And there's no sense of gratitude for it on his part.
Can anyone tell me what they've done in similar situations to make their partner fel loved and validated?