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Old 06-27-2011, 07:33 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
"cultivating multiple committed loving relationships."
This is nicely put NYC. How would you explain "committed" if asked what it meant? How would you distinguish these types of relationships from simply friends with benefits?
Jeez, I'm figuring it out as I go along! LOL.

But seriously, when I think of the word "commitment" I think of people aligning themselves toward the same goal. Basically, it's like a contract or agreement, and the commitment will mean whatever the people involved want it to mean, depending on what they're committing to.

They can be in an open relationship and committed to honesty and safer sex; they can be poly-fi and committed to being faithful to each other; they can be monogamous and committed to growing old together. Of course, these are just a few scenarios off the top of my head, but you get the idea. It can be any combination of whatever the people want. But I do think progression toward deeper understanding and knowledge of each other, and self-growth, is a part of being committed.

I think that, simply, the act of committing to/with someone is a form of allegiance and a promise to work toward something and support each other in that endeavor.

The difference between that and FWB? I would say FWB is recreational, more spontaneous thing, no kind of "contract" to work toward something or see the relationship progress. It's just about satisfaction in the moment and knowing that it could be set aside at any time for something more pressing or important -- although that does not preclude respectful treatment and honesty as well.
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The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 06-27-2011 at 07:38 PM.
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