Whew! A few days after a lovely hiking date (initiated by me), Mr. X called me and asked me to join him on another hike and a climb. Iím feeling more at ease. I wondered how he was feeling about me telling him I was in an open marriage and if he was interested. Apparently heís interested.
We went on this climb with a buddy of his. It was an aggressive climb and Mr. X wanted to make sure there were two people there to help me since this would be the first time Iíd done anything like that. I definitely felt like it was a date though and, long story short...I think it was a kind of test to see if he wants to become involved with me.
I got to thinking about this whole open marriage/poly thing (I havenít used the word ďpolyĒ with him yet) from an outsiderís perspective. This has to be kind of weird for him. Iím clearly attracted to him and I think heís attracted to me but heís taking things slow. I wonder what heís thinking....is he unsure of his attraction? Is he hesitant because I am married and he may be unsure as to whether or not a secondary relationship is what heís after? I can only imagine the thoughts that must be going through his head. Rider and I have already gone through the decision-making process of becoming poly and embracing it but Mr. X just kind of got pulled into this.
He has made comments that are encouraging to me. I think heís working on wrapping his brain around this and that heís interested. He hugged me when we parted yesterday. I donít know if he wanted to kiss me or not. Like I said, his buddy was there so a first kiss in that situation would have been awkward.
Rider was great when I came home. He was worried for me that Mr. Xís buddy was going to be there. He thought that was a bad sign. Rider was pleased when I told him how it went and felt like things were progressing. Haha, I still canít get over talking to my husband openly about someone else who Iím attracted to. Iíve even asked him for dating advice. Too weird and awesome at the same time. I really hope Rider finds someone very soon. He deserves to have some fun and I canít wait to be on the flip side, giving advice.
Rider and I leave for almost 2 weeks tomorrow and I have a million things I must get done today but Iíve been awake since 2:30 AM thinking about Mr. X and how much I want to see him one more time before we leave. Itís 5 AM now and Iím waiting for Rider to wake up so I can ask him what he thinks about me calling Mr. X and asking to see him for an hour or so this morning.
Weíve only been out together twice, the first time was as friends and I dropped the open marriage thing on him. Yesterday we had his buddy along so we didnít talk about anything relationship wise. I donít even know if Mr. X told his buddy anything about me. I really want to be with Mr. X again before I go but I also want to offer to answer any questions he may have about this whole thing. Maybe some communication will be a good thing and he can think about what we talked about while Iím away. I just donít want to scare him off.
Heís baby steppiní too and I appreciate that. I am relieved that he hasnít just tried to get me in bed since he knows thatís an option. Iím not interested in being a conquest. I want a friendship with this man. I also want a physical relationship. I want both, but if heís not interested (for whatever reason) in both, I want to have him as a friend. Pushing too hard could ruin that.
I have to say that I am so grateful for the process so far. Rider is amazing and after reading so many stories of people whose spouses haven't been supportive, or who themselves are struggling with their spouses request for a poly marriage, I realize that I am lucky/blessed/whatever. When I brought up non-manogamy to Rider it could have been a really bad thing for him but he really took it well, processed things and we talked through it all. I still expect bumps but we both agree that we can't see ourselves ever going back.
married, heterosexual female currently in a newly opened relationship; married to IDRider47
"Courage is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm" Winston Churchill
"A ship in the harbor is safe. But that's not what ships are made for" William Shedd