I can see your point about control and rules. I'm gonna guess that plays a part in it, definitely no "cover" I can think of. I think another part of it come from her NRE. even at home, there have been times where she gets so focused on texting with him that the rest of the world becomes oblivious. another thing is, although she grew up in the area, upstate NY is very rural. I worry about her driving those dark roads at night and she knows it, especially when she has had a couple of drinks. I was hoping that she would let me know when she was on her way to see him. I didn't expect any emails from her after she got there but one saying she was on her way would have been nice. I would have known that she didn't see him until midnight and not 8 like she originally planned. thats a 4 hour difference. they weren't going on a date, they were going to the hotel for sex which is fine. she sent me the pics at 2am. if she had attached a note to one of the pictures saying she was tired and will send more in the morning I would have been ok. I just like her to keep me in the loop. in any case, it's definitely a step in the right direction. I told her I would do my best to not fly off the handle like that again.
testosterone is powerful to say the least. match that up with my fathers temper and it's like dynamite. I have spent my whole life trying to not be my father and there he was, just this morning. slowly but surely, it is getting easier. at first I didn't understand how she could love me and another man. I'm getting it now. the lessons are rough but I'm getting there. if I had been home, I know she would have texted me that she was out with her friends later so I wouldn't worry.
she told me today that he paid for the hotel room. I told her that was good, I paid for the plane ticket and rental car. I also told her that after I get home, if he drives down for a long weekend, I'll pay for his hotel room and she can spend some time with him there. she was very happy about that. in no way has any of this been easy for me but the hardest part is over I think. they finally had sex and got it out of the way. they've been talking about it for months. I'll be home again in a month. then we can continue the journey into our new life.