Whenever I think about the whole matter of primary and secondary and tertiary..., I end up thinking that either I'm all in it, or I'm not. And if I'm not all in it, how is it a loving relationship? I don't want to love any of my partners any less and I don't want to rank them in any way. So I guess that means I can only have primary relationships, whether I live with each of them or not, or howevermuch time I spend with either.
I realize that the primary/secondary/tertiary thing is necessary and workable for some people, and my words here are not meant to be offensive or judgemental toward anyone. But that's how it think-feels when I think and feel about it.