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Old 06-26-2011, 11:54 AM
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River River is offline
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 2,164

I'm pretty sure my whole experience and feeling-thought around touch is a little different from many here, or most. You see, I spent the first six weeks of my life in a little machine box called an incubator, where premature babies are imprisoned away from their mother's arms. Although I have no conscious memory of this, my deepest intuitive sense is that this was a major trauma for my infant self. I have always had a lot of touch hunger and touch need. So this is a factor.

Also a factor is that it's very possible that I may soon truly have two partner-lovers, the real deal -- not just fly by night touch-and-go landings. One never knows how things will unfold, of course. But that may be emerging welcomely into my life. And two would be a limit for lovers for me, for a long while anyway. I could only imagine having three loves
years into having settled into two-loveness.

Another factor is that I love some of my friends, only not romantically. I could cuddle with any of them. One of them I did, years and years ago. Only once. (???) And touch is related to bonding and the feeling of emotional connection-commitment in my head and heart. Being held and holding allows me to be fully close, and ... well, it feels to me that if I am utterly sexually fulfilled, holding and being held by a friend could be sweet and tender and not sexually oriented or motivated at all. It could just be happy time, lovely sweet happy time.

And, yes, I do think true good friends have commitment/s with one another, just like romantic lovers do, when they do. Only a little different. And yet so much the same! We want to know our friend is with us, "in it", not going away because the weather got a little stormy or the journey got a little challenging.
bi, partnered, available

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Last edited by River; 06-26-2011 at 12:01 PM.
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