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Old 06-26-2011, 07:01 AM
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rory rory is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Europe
Posts: 497
Default If she Truly Loved Me she would...

I wanted to start a thread about the assumptions that are generally made about loving and relationships. You know, the ones that make you believe that you don't need to communicate with your partner because if she or he really loves you, they will know instictively what you need or want, and abide by it. These are interesting, because one can find them in one's own thinking, often working on such a subconsious level that it's hard to notice them.

Thankfully, we are told that communication is essential in poly, and thus we can start to notice those assumptions. (Obviously, communication is just as important in mono relationships, but it doesn't get talked about very much. I guess you need to have big problems before you are supposed to work on your communication, precisely cause when you're in love you're assumed to know what your partner wants etc.)

So, which assumptions have you encountered in your own thinking (or your partner's, or just generally come by?

If he truly loved me he would...

- me when I wish him to, and not call when I don't, without me asking him to be in contact more/less.
- ...come and comfort me if I'm having a bad day, without me asking him to (or telling him that I am having a bad day).
- ...know when I wish to be left alone without me telling him that.
- ...know if I'm in the mood for sex, and what kind of touch I want without me communicating it in any way.
- ...basically know what I want without me needing to tell him.
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