Polywog warning - I'm new to all this. A few thoughts though.
Originally Posted by TruckerPete
How are we ever going to be taken seriously?
Personally, I feel we don't need to help jealousy get taken seriously. Wibbles is awesome.
However, I have some trouble with the definition of jealousy stated here. To me, being new to poly, it's something very nuanced, and it sorta needs to be dissected and treated carefully & tenderly. It's that stuff that gets deflated by love. The stuff that creates problems & week-long discussions, seemingly impossible to pin down, until you add love & attention, making it melt away.
My spouce only wants to use it when there's a feeling of threat involved, I tend to use it where there's something I want but someone else seem to be getting, or someone else in a role that I want to be in. I get jealous when someone else is caring for her after our rows, or someone else gets acceptance when I get a frown...
It's a many-headed thing, that can cause a lot of destruction, but when you spot it, it's the easiest conflict to defuse. I would never call it negative, since it's just a need for love, and I'm all for love. It's just a bit hard to spot, since it tends to hide behind anger & stuff. Can't shoot her down for not spotting it herself, love is supposed to be a bit confusing.