I think you should be able to express to him everything you said in your last post. Those are very important and valid points you make. You do not want to feel used (although perhaps someday you might eventually like the idea of participating, if it's your own choice to do so). You obviously would rather have meaningful relationships than recreational sex. He has been holding back his feelings, you are imagining how that has flavored your entire relationship thus far. All this non-communication is eroding the good you have, and wearing you down. The two of you need to stop hiding how you're feeling in order to heal.
Independent solo polyamorist seeking lover-friends willing to invest in friendship, companionship, and love, but without a need for partnership.
Never confuse commitment with exclusivity, love with ownership, nor sex with intimacy!
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan
Last edited by nycindie; 06-25-2011 at 08:04 PM.