Its not easy....I was born and raised in NYC (where it seems everything goes), and met my partner in WI (People didn't really care what we did) after living there for a few years we moved to GA( Wow that was culture shock, I thought people were gonna chase us with a pitch fork) LOL. It was warmer : ) . We find being open with being gay/bi and poly on top of that is very, very hard. We picked our current location in GA, because it was the best choice for our children. No where near Atlanta (which is a bit more open minded)
Everyone knows that we are in a same sex relationship, its not something we choose to hide. Some people had issues with it some did not. It has on occassion been a problem with my work, but not hers. As for poly we tried to hide it at first, but we just didn't see how it was any different than not hiding that we were gay/bi.
It wasn't as big of a deal as you would think, we still get the dirty looks and nasty comments.....but we have also made some really great friends that we would have never made if we had to keep our lifestyle a secret. Being gay seems to be more of an issue then being poly.
I agree with the idea that either your community will change you or you will change your community. The more people who are out about there "alternative" lifestyle the easier it is for the people who have them. I am sure you will find there are more than you know, we did : )
We tried somethings that may work for you guys. Go out places that are far if you can from where you live or work. Even if your not gay or bi, going to a gay or bi place might be a good idea, people tend to be a little less focused on what situations other people are in, and more excepting of difference. Our straight friends go with us a lot.
I know its hard when people have jobs that will become conflicted by thier private lives. I guess it all comes down to how much longer can you keep it a secret? Is it worth keeping it a secret? What would really happen if people knew, is it just uncomfortable or will they get fired?
Very best of luck to you, and I think it is so awesome that you are so happy!!