I think these are issues for a therapist, really. Have you thought about seeking counseling? you don't want resentment to build and it seems that you're both at loggerheads trying to talk about it among just you two. A third party's viewpoint could help.
Independent solo polyamorist seeking lover-friends willing to invest in friendship, companionship, and love, but without a need for partnership.
Never confuse commitment with exclusivity, love with ownership, nor sex with intimacy!
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan