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Old 06-24-2011, 07:13 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Originally Posted by Abstract View Post
Are there people who are content to live in a separate house from thier significate other and never expect to live with them, but still feel like they are loved and getting what they need?
Yep. I need my space. Not that moving in wouldn't be impossible at some later point, but it would require a lot of pre-thought and agreements.

Take my LDR with Sweetheart. Living together is never going to happen. The whole pattern of the relationship is very different from a traditional meet someone, move in together, get married, have a child -model. I think a long-term holiday romance would be the closest thing to describing what we've got. And I am totally happy. Okay, not totally - I would really wish to be able to communicate with him on a more regular basis.

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Originally Posted by Abstract View Post
How often do you generally see this person?
Does it work for you?
I try to do two times a week, except for Sweetheart, whom I see when I can . It's hard when there's strong NRE going on, and I have thought about making it three times a week, but that would require some serious re-negotiation as to my current family situation. I don't see that happening in the near future.

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Originally Posted by Abstract View Post
Do you see other people to fill the void?
Yes, I'm dating four people, one is an LDR and two of them are married to each other. I don't think of it as filling the void. Each of them is an unique relationship - I didn't set out thinking 'you know, four people would be really nice, two men and two women, one couple, one LDR, so I am going to look for that'.

I did start out looking for a couple. When I accidentally met Sweetheart in the process, I did tell him that I couldn't be his secondary and just grow resentful and forlorn in an LDR, that I needed a primary of my own.

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Originally Posted by Abstract View Post
What if you couldnt live with them, and you didn't see anyone else, and this was a situation you wanted long term, do you still think all your needs would be met?
Maybe I didn't catch the question. If I wanted this for long-term, at least I would presume it would meet all my needs? For me, mono secondary status wouldn't work.

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Originally Posted by Abstract View Post
Can someone except not being the priority in the 3 way relationship?
Hmm, I would think, as there is not a single three-way relationship but three individual couple relations, of course I would except to be a priority in the relationships I am actually involved in. In a family situation when everyone is living together, somebody usually needs more support and attention than the others. I think the key is making sure it is not always the same person who needs all the attention, support and time. If there are kids involved, they are of course the priority - that is what families are for.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Abstract View Post
What about alone time, and privacy, how do people do that, are things scheduled? It seems like there isn't much excitment in scheduling sex and things?
Hehee, sex dates and just hang-out dates too are extremely exciting to schedule and wait for. I try to strive for equality in terms of how much I spend time with both members of the couple.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Abstract View Post
Do people all share one bedroom usually?
I personally wouldn't share a bedroom on a permanent basis with anyone. I mean, what if you have totally different sleeping schedules, somebody snores or hogs the pillows? Having your own room is important for me - it is somewhere you can go and be totally alone and by yourself.

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Originally Posted by Abstract View Post
Anythings that really seem to work well that people have tried, in terms of having a live in or non-live-in triad where everyone really is happy?
I guess the most important things in a triad for me are a strive towards equality, honesty in communication about feelings and expectations, and commitment to spend alone time with both of your partners.
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Me: bi female in my twenties
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