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Old 06-24-2011, 03:29 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Clearwater, Fl.
Posts: 907

Interesting. I have not read all 11 pages...but....I will say that the two are so closely interwoven, that it is difficult to see who is a "swinger", vs. a "poly person".

My wife and I started thinking we were "swingers". But in reality, I think we've always done it as poly. Yes, the sex was the leading factor in getting with another cpl, but we would only ever do anything with one other cpl. In fact, we were....exclusive....with those couples, and developed feelings for them. We have "dated" two couples, two single males, and a unicorn that got away. All over the course of about 13 years or so. Yes, we've had one night stands. However, those started out as a date...ended up in bed...and poof...they never called back, or returned calls or texts. Sooo...I guess that's the way it goes for some.

So, sometimes, a person identifies as a "swinger" (like my wife and I did for a long time) yet lived as "poly".

Our last relationship with a cpl, we realized that we had fallen in love with the female, when the male said he didn't want to do anything more because I opened up and said I had developed feelings for her. She was flattered and said she felt the same way about my wife and I and that if her hubby weren't in the picture, or they even weren't married, she would move in with us in a heartbeat. But because she WAS married, and she DID love her husband also, she had to choose to stay with him. I told her we didn't WANT them to break up! But...He equated the word "polyamory" with "polygamy", and thought I wanted his wife to add to my own. Which, would have been nice in it's self, but not what we desired. He didn't get it. Never has, sadly. So, we had to cut them from our lives entirely.

I have found that the "poly" crowd, tends to look down their noses at "swingers", as if they were "dirty" or something. Seems kinda "elitist" to me, but eh...What do I know?

So, Rules...or no rules...I don't care how it's done. But if all parties are consenting, who cares what it's called?
There is a lid for every pot...Sometimes even two or three...
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