Originally Posted by Derbylicious
They are both grownups and need to deal with this themselves. If they can't get over it for the sake of the group during a ritual maybe they should both be politely asked not to come until they have worked out their issues. Otherwise it's really none of anyone elses' business what they do.
Yeah, I suppose that was where I was going in my majorly long-winded way.
We did ask them both that and they both reacted badly. She didn't want ot get over it and he said, "Nah, she's ok, I told her why I was breaking up with her". So she then via email decided to leave the group stating that she really loved us but it was time to go and he's spent time seeming to not understand, blame us for the decision made by the second lady (she asked for a little space to get her head round things but she wouldn't not be in contact they'd still be in contact and all that - we were definately NOT party to that decision and had clearly stated that it was obviously non of our business how their relationship progressed - nor were we in any way interested). He was going to return a gift that was given to him at the ritual which was personal to him, when all we'd asked was for that 'time out' to work out the issues - we had never said it was 'never darken our door' or anything like that, in fact I repeated what we thought might be the best solution - pretty much what you suggest Derbylicious, several times to ensure that he had heard correctly.
As you've all said, they're Adults, we're not their parents or anything like that.
As I said, today our other friend has just had a big operation. After we knew which hospital ward he was on, I texted the guy at the centre of this so that he knew this information, after all, they've been friends for a long time too and it's important and beyond any of the other stuff.
See, maybe I should take heed of what hubby says at times - "I must stop being long winded and be more to the point!"