Originally Posted by serialmonogamist
people are so good at lying and covering their tracks (or you're so bad at espionage) that they never get caught or confess.
Considering that monogamy is so strictly expected in mainstream culture, it just makes sense to me that people naturally develop strategies for cheating and getting away with it.
Or do most people just learn to control themselves and get used to monogamy? How would you know, really?
I think that we are taught at a very young age to go underground to get our needs met. We want a cookie from the cookie jar, so we sneak one. If parents don't teach children to communicate and ask for what they require; give them the language, then they will learn skills to steel what they need. Its a survival mechanism I think.
This can be re-taught, but it means facing ourselves and our secret desires and needs, our fears too; making oneself vulnerable and being very real. That is hard for most of us to do and makes us not look so great. Its uncomfortable for everyone concerned I think.
Really though, when faced with the option of saving face and losing everything because of cheating or being real, asking for what we need and laying it all out in order to keep what we have; the choice is ours and we tend to end up feeling uncomfortable any way. Not to mention many other feelings (including fear again, which really is the biggest emotion to over come. Embracing fear is our biggest release from everything that hurts us I think).