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Old 06-23-2011, 06:13 PM
serialmonogamist serialmonogamist is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 164

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
Based on how I work: (and I can only speak for myself)
If you are merely acting mono due to conditioning, or your current situation, then keeping a distance would be a strategy to prevent new intimate connections that conflict with an existing one. If however, you are truly internally mono, there is no need to distance yourself from anyone. You only have that one type of intimate connection with a single person. All other relationships involve a different type of connection. The only time these other connections can cause a problem is if you have an insecure partner who views platonic friendships as a threat.
That makes sense but how do you know if the connections you have with people are truly totally platonic or if there's a potential for more? To me it seems like if you find a person attractive and interesting there could always be a potential for a relationship, but the reason you don't pursue every relationship is because there's also a potential for damage.

It's like shopping. You can go shopping and see lots of things you think you would maybe like to buy or at least try out but you limit yourself to only buying the things you really need because you don't want to end up buried under a pile of credit-card bills. With monogamy I think the problem is that many people feel jealous if they just feel like you're paying attention to other merchandise in the store. But I think that may have to do with the fact that women do more work to make themselves appear attractive than men. Women should probably stop competing for male attention unless they're open to polyamory.
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