Your blog is a really interesting read.
My husband and I opened our marriage about 8 months ago. We've shared many of the fears and excitement and questions and concerns that you have mentioned. We were sort of "forced" into poly when I fell in love with our neighbor, who was also my husband's friend. (After all we've been through, with the brutal honesty that poly has required, now my husband calls him his best
What especially interests me about your blog is your feelings about your husband's journey into non-monogamy. My husband has been 100% devoted to me since the day he met me (we've been married 12 1/2 years). I point out other girls to him, he always replies, "She's cute, but not as cute as you." I've always been so secure in his love for me (which is lovely, since my father moved away when I was 5 and security with men has always been a big issue for me).
Since opening our marriage, he has stopped wearing his wedding ring. He joined some dating/match sites, and started going out with a single guy friend of his on Friday nights, to meet women. It's weird! I want him to be happy -- I have NEVER been jealous, ever. But I worry now, what have I sent him into??? He didn't have much luck meeting women who interest him. He feels no one really compares to me. I know he's just trying out the whole poly thing, but I think he is sad that he's "out there," when he thought marriage meant the end of the dating crap.
Well, he has started texting a girl he met through business, and they are getting rather intense. I am thrilled for him! He reads me the texts and they are so sexy and clever with each other. Now I am seeing him through her eyes -- and it is making me hotter than ever for him! Even though sometimes I do get those little fears -- uh oh, will he grow to love her more than me? Will he leave me for her? I am not jealous, just a little scared of the unknown. It is definitely an adventure. But so far, we've really made the best of it, and grown so much closer.
Life is good. I see my bf about twice a week, while my husband is at work. We've settled into a nice routine, and we have gotten past a lot of the initial jealousy and fears.We are still happily married, my family is intact and I am feeling more authentic than ever. It's been worth it. I am glad to read your story, too.