Well one of the good things about a MFFM quad, is that to the outside world it's easy to appear as just two couples who are best friends...like the Flintstones and Rubbles.
We also live in a conservative state and in an odd way I'm a tad jealous that your situation can easily be camouflaged...a triad of three guys living together is harder to blend in for sure.
Of course in an ideal world y'all would win the lottery and move to a liberal bastion like NYC or SF or Paris and be able to be as open as you want. I can't count how many times I've had that daydream! But realistically, you just have to try to live as happily as possible while not making too big of a scene. Find ways to spend time together away from the prying public more often if you can...it's about the best you can do.
And well, come here to vent as needed.