Originally Posted by serialmonogamist
Sorry if this shifts the topic of the thread too much but I was wondering what people thought about cheating when people are so good at lying and covering their tracks (or you're so bad at espionage) that they never get caught or confess. I have the idea that this may happen a lot more than people think but it also seems like paranoia to think that. Considering that monogamy is so strictly expected in mainstream culture, it just makes sense to me that people naturally develop strategies for cheating and getting away with it. Or do most people just learn to control themselves and get used to monogamy? How would you know, really?
I would hazard a guess that there are a lot more affairs on the go then we think. People can get very good at them - I was very adept at keeping it a secret. Fake Hotmail accounts, great work cover up stories for being late. You name it, I had it down. The thing was that I became so unhealthy in my relationship that I was looking for a way to get caught doing anything that would promote change I was too cowardly to appraoch head on.
Some people are actually monogamous so there is no need to "control" themsleves. Others are very good at being in control of themselves and simply ignore feelings for people outside there relationship. Discipline is learned and can be done around anything; food, sex and how we express love.