Originally Posted by redpepper
Good on you for taking the time. It sounds like you need it. Maybe you should ask him if you can leave all this alone until the fall (three months), enjoy your summer, strengthen what you have together and see how you feel then. Maybe you will still need time, maybe you will know what kind of path you feel comfortable with... so might he. His need to get going might be a result of his own lose. Who knows....
I agree.. getting into a situation where you have to deal with another relationship before you've healed is unwise. Good for you for recognising your need to take time to process. Moving into a poly-style way of thinking and feeling is HARD WORK. Learning new ways of behaving and working out our value conflicts in that transition is not easy, and I believe that once you've started, you can't really go back to being blind about the possibility of loving differently. (You CAN choose to be monogamous or swing and be happy with it, though: that's behavior.) I think that's what you mean when you spoke about opening a can of worms?
When you work hard, rest is important!