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Old 06-23-2011, 12:26 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Originally Posted by Snowdancer View Post
Different people have different ideas about what polyamory is. Simply put, it is loving more than one parther. Non-monogamy is another term used. It doesn't mean someone has to be in a 3 way marriage to qualify. If a person wants to have a steady relationship and see others on the side, that is polyamory too. If they want to have 3 or 4 steady relationships, that too is polyamory. If people want to have sex with their friends, that is polyamory. Generally, people love their friends, that qualifies.
Yes, all that is true. No matter how many ideas people have about what it is, polyamory is the ability to love more than one person intimately. I never said it had to be a three-way marriage (or any other configuration) to be poly. The operative word in all the scenarios you mentioned is love, not sex, in order to be polyamory.

Yes, poly is a form of non-monogamy; the word "non-monogamy" is not just another word for polyamory, being an umbrella term that encompasses other types of relationships that are not monogamy but not polyamory, either.

Originally Posted by Snowdancer View Post
You assume Adult Friend Finder is all about casual sex, and you would certainly think so based on their advertising. But there is a whole blogging community there that encompasses about every possible lifestyle imaginable.
Good to know. Thanks for that - I didn't know it had a blog function. Maybe I'll check it out - last time I went there, it was a real turn-off and seemed like it was all about random hook-ups for recreational and anonymous sex, and not much better than Craigslist.

Originally Posted by Snowdancer View Post
For a person into an alternative lifestyle, you don't strike me as being particularly open minded.
I'm not into an alternative lifestyle. I strive to incorporate poly into my lifestyle. Big difference -- there is no one poly lifestyle. But really, it's fine with me if I don't seem open-minded to you. I'm as open-minded as I can be -- but I'm somewhat of a stickler about the use of words and language. I was reaching out and I think you misunderstood what I was saying as being judgmental -- I did not mean it that way. I apologize for coming off that way.
Originally Posted by Snowdancer View Post
This website has this definition for polyamory:

Polyamory n 1: the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time (2008). In Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary. 2: romantically loving more than one person at a time 3: responsible non-monogamy based on honest open communication and conscious choices

This is what Wikipedia says:

Polyamory (from Greek πολύ [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor [love]) is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

There is nothing in what I said that is not consistent with these definitions. Sorry if I don't fit yours!
Nothing wrong with any of these definitions (I am a contributor at Wikipedia and have edited the polyamory page, btw). But you mostly mentioned sex in your first post, so I didn't know how you were defining polyamory.

Originally Posted by Snowdancer View Post
P.S.S. I didn't say I was here looking for casual sex. How did you leap to that conclusion?
I didn't say you were looking for casual sex. I don't know nor presume to know what you're looking for. I said that the focus of your original post seemed to be on sex and casual sex, as that is what you mentioned most (in every paragraph, in fact) when you spoke about how you discovered polyamory as an option for yourself. I was not judging; I was simply mentioning that poly is about love, in case you were heading in a different direction. No offense intended.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 06-23-2011 at 06:54 AM.
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