hurt and confused
One of our good friends has know we're poly for about 2 years now; when she and I first discussed my relationship with Wendigo she gave her approval. Prior to that conversation and for a bit after we'd flirted with the idea of fooling around, but in the end she was more afraid of losing her boyfriend (even though he gave the OK). I was more than okay with that, but every so often she will dangle the carrot infront of my nose - hiding my birthday present down her shirt for me to dig for, showing me her new nipple piercings, letting Wendigo and I give her scratchies and massages while she moaned in our laps, and generally leading me on. A few times Wendigo has told her to make up her mind and so have I.
Runic Wolf and I outed ourselves to the rest of our Dag unit while at Ragnarok; one understood right off, our friends who already knew (and Wendigo) remained silent, but Friday morning I caught our good friend, T and our friend P talking about one of our unit heads; who was being actively pursued by a member of another unit, but is married and refused to cheat. They were annoyed because everyone was encouraging him to sleep with her; his wife is ARMY and they're living separate lives sans sex, much to his dismay when he does see her. I actually was proud of him for not cheating, but never got a chance to say so. P made a comment right infront of me that people who are in open or poly relationships must have something seriously wrong at home to make them want that sort of thing. I tried to say something about how it doesn't work for everyone, but P wouldn't let me into the conversation. T said that she'd never do it again. She didn't agree or disagree with him and did notice me and say that some people can do it and said that she'd never ever do it again. Then she spent the whole rest of our time there treating me like I was less than her. I had already decided, in November, that I was done trying to get her to change her mind. I realized that no matter how attracted to her I am, I'd be settling for her when I really want Pretty Lady. Still, being treated that way, infront of everyone, really hurt. Especially after hearing how she's been done with poly for awhile after she excitedly showed off her nipples to me for the first time back in May.....
I'm torn and confused about how to react. On the one hand, I want to confront her, but after the dramas w/in our unit on Sunday, I don't want to make things worse. On the other hand, is her not standing up for me and treating me as less (which could be because she's letting her new rank go to her head) worth risking our friendship for when I really don't want anything more?