Feeling kind of disappointed this afternoon. Last night Wendigo and I went up and helped set the tent back up at KoN. We ended up being the first ones there and decided to practice with my bow since another friend was supposed to bring his scale to see if the new string would pass. In trying to avoid getting stung, I managed to thwack myself with the bow string. I was kind of in shock when Wendigo kissed it better and pulled me in for a quick kiss, before anyone else arrived. Sometimes I think we try too hard to keep up appearances.... and those barriers seem to come down quickly at KoN; we're best friends to everyone there and we spent over a year playing characters who were courting; we learned to speak in gestures and looks. Almost all of our Rag friends are also our KoN friends, but it's like they are different people in different situations. It's okay for us to joke and mock flirt at KoN, but not at Rag or at least that is how it feels right now. Even our friends who were "pulling rank" and looking down on us for being lower rank at Dag were back to their old friendly selves at KoN. Unfortunately, Wendigo threw his back out setting up the tent, so he was uncomfortable on the way home, but looking forward to today.
We had planned today as a hangout/ clean the workshop day with the expectation that we'd fool around for a bit if there was time before Yoda got home from school (boo for half days). It would have been the first time we've had alone time since January. He reminded Pretty Lady that he needed to get up early before they went to bed, but she swears it didn't sink in because when I arrived to pick him up; he was still asleep.
Pretty Lady and I had a good time chatting over coffee while we waited for him to get up, shower, and get ready. We ended up leaving his house an hour after we were supposed to get to ours, so any play time would have had to be quick, but he was pretty much a zombie and/or in pain the whole time he was here, while I cleaned up around him and he kept apologizing for wasting my time.
I still don't know how to show him that anytime I get to spend with him isn't a waste. Would I have enjoyed some sexy time, hell, yes, but what I really needed was to spend some quality time not having to pretend I'm not his girlfriend. It takes alot of mental energy to act "natural" in group settings. I think I'm more disappointed that he couldn't even hold a conversation; couldn't flirt; and I barely got a half hug; than I am about anything else.
And now I have to make dinner and entertain our friends, who I want to see, but don't; if that makes any sense.