Communication is key in any relationship, whether poly, mono, or swinging. He is your husband. Why can't you say to him everything you wrote in your post? Which, specifically, I mean this:
Originally Posted by RugerLove
now I am scared that just me is not good enough anymore. I am having a hard time finding the words to talk to him about this. I know my sharing the fantasy opened a can of worms that I can’t close. I just don’t know how to proceed with what we would both be comfortable with. I wouldn’t mind sharing certain aspects of my life with another, maybe a really good friend that we swing with, but that does not live with us or want to co-parent. The option of him having his and me having mine is not open; it would have to be together or not at all with me. I know I am stuck somewhere that I am not sure has definition, but I know what I want right now, sure it could change later down the road, but right now this is it. . . . I feel right now that jumping into something else would be too fast for me. It’s like after a breakup and you need time to heal before you start again.