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Old 06-22-2011, 02:01 AM
Soundwave Soundwave is offline
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 6

I looked up serial monogamy. I guess that does describe me. Like I said, I've had three boyfriends, all one after another. The things is though, I was never looking for other people, I just happened to meet them and develop feelings. I remember always thinking "my heart is just too big" to myself when I was feeling sad about an ex boyfriend. Also, with the first boyfriend, while he'll always have a place in my heart, I don't feel any sort of love for him anymore. I felt like it was right to leave him at the time that I did. With boyfriend 2 the love never faded. No matter how long we didn't see each other or talk, the feelings have remained. Leaving didn't feel right, but neither did staying. I wanted both and assumed I couldn't have it.

I've been reading and reading and reading, as suggested above, and it's certainly been very empowering to hear people's stories and learn about this. It's weird though, I don't necessarily feel like I am poly-amours. I was always happy with monogamy; I've certainly experienced jealousy in monogamous relationships; in general I FEEL monogamous. But I love two people. Not new relationships either, so it's not just the fresh excitement. I'm in love with people, and I feel like I will forever be unhappy unless I can spend time with both of them. I know poly comes in all types, but I have yet to read a situation like this. Guess I should keep reading!
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