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Old 10-12-2009, 10:34 PM
joedirte joedirte is offline
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 6

Originally Posted by Tia View Post
That's not easy to hear/do in ANY format of relationship. It needs to be done sensitively, and you may well lose the friendship.. but I hope that won't stop you taking a chance on new love in the future...

One question... is this the first time you have attempted to **start a meaningful relationship** with someone outside your marriage? If so, be really sure that the change of heart on your wife's part isn't about some other uncertainty to do with living poly. It might be crushing for your friend to deal with the rejection, but the real damage would come if she then changed her mind again and decided she wants him after all.x
We/she tired before we got married a couple years ago thats when we first heard about. she was dating two guys (i was one) and she wanted to be open with both of us, I agreed he didnt ( maybe b/c he hated me) years past we got come to a mutal friend and that how this started.

She said he was different when it was just them alone and she liked the guy he was when he was just hanging out. she said she will give him a few more chances to see where it goes but it doesnt look good , worst of all it seems he really falling for her.

Originally Posted by Tia View Post
btw, I **'s the words in the above paragraph because you described your wife escalating the relationship with your friend as "bringing him in". One of the things that has helped me and my "metamor" (my bf's wife) is realising that the relationship they each have with me is unique and special (as is the relationship they have together, still), and not just an enhancement to their relationship. Does that make sense? I guess it might not help you, but as someone quite new to this too, I thought I would offer the "leg up" if it helps

Good luck

I feel strange in a way as a man i want to be the only one for my wife, on the other hand he`s my friend and i feel bad for him. We kind of wish this never happened
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