since making my last comments I had a chance to conduct a informal survey. I think form the inception of my company I've hired summer help ....in the beginning I was pressured by friends and associates to hire their kids. Now we just plan on it and it works out fine. Generally, by the nature of the work they are boys.... high school and or college age. Currently there are 4 .... a 17, 19 (2) 20 yr olds At the completion of a rather big project I bought the entire crew dinner (9 in total) thus having the opportunity to ask the question. " How would you feel if your parents developed outside romantic relationships which could be more than one and obviously would included sex ...in other words they had an open marriage.
I was very surprised by the responses. All were initially negative. There was also a gender issue. Moms were regarded differently. One said " I don't like thinking about my parents having sex let alone some strange guy or guys banging my mom.....that's disgusting. " They all had trouble with that image after that. Dad's seemed to get a little slack ....although it was most certainly negative it didn't seem to carry the emotion of disgust or revulsion. They quickly came up with hypothetical situations which would be ok with them....all of these were really outside of a truly open marriage ....if someone was injured an unable to have/enjoy sex , etc. Then it moved to swinging and that concept ....and the reactions from that...same or worse. Comments about respect or losing respect were common ...almost universal or unanimous. The issue of time came up ....some felt that adding these new relationships would most certainly impact time now available to them and their siblings. One said that his mom only makes it to about half of his sporting events as is....add one or more people to the dynamic he was sure it would cut into her limited time even further and that his younger brother would most likely get the short end of that stick.
How big of deal could this be ?...I now think it's completely dependent on the people and the dynamic involved. My original statement seems to be wrong form this very small survey. I guess the next question would have to be ..."whats a big deal look like" and Which gender is better at creating "the big deal " ? hard to say and I don't think I want to find out.
I do wonder if the same gender bias would exists for girls of the same age.....meaning they would have that same reaction(s) to their fathers being sexually open. I know I wont be doing any surveys to find that out any time soon . Thought you may fine this interesting ...I did. Take care D