Wow, You are in a fucked up situation. It is really frustrating to read actually. I get really frustrated when people allow themselves to lose touch with themselves and reality at the hands of another. I have not ever experienced that, so I find it hard to relate. I do know it can happen over time and with manipulation of words and circumstances to suit the abuser. This seems to be what has happened here. It is possible to change your situation however.
I can only echo what others have said really. Find a good therapist, find a place to live, find your feet to stand on financially, find help from others that are either friends or better, professionals that are trained to get women out of abusive situations.
You love him I'm sure, but this is not a reason to stay in situations that are not healthy... abuse or not. I love many of my exes, but we are not together because the situation wasn't working for us any more. We wanted different things and needed to move on. It sounds like you need to move on because your relationship sounds toxic.
I think just starting by separating yourself from the present stuff that seems to get glossed over with words and manipulation and look at the big picture. What do you want for you future? Do you want someone who is not willing to accept and love you for who you are? Or do you want someone that tells you what you will do and how you should act according to what keeps them happy? Do you want to hate yourself because of your belief in what he says? Or do you want to start listening to yourself and finding the inner love you could have?
There have been some really good words of wisdom here. I suggest you take them. We don't know what is going on for him, and I doubt we will, but from what you say, this looks to be done.
Go take on your life.
Its too short to waste on accomplishing his version of it. Good luck.