I dont know about the whole gossip worry. Is it because you're afraid the partner of a lover, feeling spurned, will "out" you to people you'd rather not know?
As far as sexual "secrets" or discretion, don't others here either consciously or unconsciously share new sexual practices with the first partner, that you've learned with partner 2 or 3? At least sometimes? I know I do. Wouldn't this be a way to non-verbally share so-called private things you've done with others?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw
me: Mags, female, pansexual, poly, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, poly, 37