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Old 06-19-2011, 03:34 PM
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just3 just3 is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: OK
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Look. Im gonna be 100 percent honest with you. Since Im a survivor of abuse.. in many different forms. After being in YEARS of therapy. After watching people around me fall. You need to find yourself. Until you find and love yourself you wont see what others are saying. Just because someone SAYS they love you. Doesnt mean they do. LOVE is not in the words. YAY the guy can be nice to you SOMETIMES! (I rolled my eyes at this) After 12 years of marriage. I can tell ya if my hubs was only nice to me SOMETIMES. I would boot his ass out the door faster than you can blink. Good thing my hubs is nice to me almost all the time(hell even we arent perfect :P) My husband would never disrespect me and make me feel worthless. And I have been best friends with this guy since I was 14. We are 33. Plenty of years in there for him to be a jerk. Not once has he ever said anything about my weight. I could burn dinner every night and he still wouldnt bad talk me.
What you need to stop and think about is how you value yourself. And how you would like to be valued. Personally I took enough abuse in life to continue it. I may not be a damn model but Im fine with my stretchmarks and size 14 pants. And my hubs supports me no matter what my weight is. Or what I look like.. Think of this..
Would you tell a friend to stick it out if she cried about being called names or treated the way your s called partner treats you?
Or would you say.. Honey.. NO ONE deserves to feel like less of a person. Get out and one day you will find a partner deserving of you.

No one is trying to be cruel when they say you should get the f*** out and do it now. Your self esteem seems to be very bruised and battered as it is. Your just becoming a whipped dog. Cowering in the corner waiting for the next lashing. Honey.. You are worth more. Noone should laugh at you or ridicule you in any way. You need to take a good look at yourself. List all the good things you see. If you dont like your weight. Change it. BUT ONLY IF YOU dont like it. WHo gives a shit what others like. YOU are your own worst enemy. If you list the bad things after all the good.. Look hard at that list..
Go ahead. And say is this what OTHERS have said to me that made me put this on this list. Or how I REALLY see myself.
And remember you can change you for the better. You can start looking at yourself in a whole new light.
You cant change your partner.
ANd honestly.. A partner is supposed to be loving caring supportive. A best friend. ALL the time. Not just when its suits them.
Chris
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