Thanks again for the feedback. It's all so helpful.
We have a 14 year old son and a 17 year old daughter. I'm an anthropology student and have written a paper on monogamy and biology. I've had stacks and stacks of sex and biology books and particularly non-monogamy books scattered about and have openly read "Sex at Dawn" and "The Myth of Monogamy" (both in my personal library) in front of the kids. Our daughter even makes funny comments about my books and interests to her boyfriend.
She's a sharp one and we expect that she'll catch on pretty quick especially since we don't wear our wedding rings anymore. We have always been very physically demonstrative (Rider and I) and that has not changed. In fact, it's been more intense lately. We suspect that our ringless fingers may raise some concerns, especially with her (our son is still pretty clueless and obtuse) but since our affection for one another remains we expect that it offers reassurance.
We are very open with our children and have frank, honest conversations about sex and relationships so if she asks we will be honest. Our son need not know at this time.
Yes, I see the potential problem with processing all those emotions at the same time. Since I posted that we decided that we need to just let things flow naturally. I am pursuing a friendship with another man and Rider is getting his feet wet by flirting (so awesome and charming!). We're in flow mode- not forcing anything at this point, just enjoying the journey.
Haha!!! Amen about texting and e-mails, but soooo hard. Rider and I have done some pretty hot and heavy sexting in the past but some recent experiences with accidentally sending a text meant for him to someone else has curbed my enthusiasm for that practice. Mercifully, the accidental texts were not salacious.
The journey continues and I sincerely thank you all for your wisdom and advice.