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Old 10-11-2009, 06:40 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,702

I find this an interesting thread and I am torn by it. On one hand I am concerned for you as your third....( I don't know what configuration you have...? anyway, this woman in your life...) seems to want to take on a role in child rearing that is bigger than you feel comfortable with and on the other she seems to just be simply excited for you and the prospect of having a baby in her life that she can simply admire, cuddle with and then hand back to you when it starts to cry.

You and our husband are doing this together, that might be a threat to her as she is not a part of it. Since she has already had a child she might be feeling that she can feel a part of it by telling you how she raised her kids and how she can help. There is nothing wrong in that. She should be expressing her concerns really, but perhaps they have not surfaced as such yet.... perhaps you could ask her if that is what is happening for her?

I would think that you would also feel a bit threatened as you are the one who will get huge, have hormonal changes, feel like building a nest for your baby, all insular and self absorbed. This means your husband will go through what I believe all daddy's do and that is his feelings of being left out. His role will change in your life and he will have the responsibility to be the meal cooker, the house cleaner, the money maker, the foot rubber, the get up in the night to change diaper guy,,,, all those fun things that seems thrust upon men that have no connection physically to baby when it is in the womb... it's quite a shock and some men just whine and complain about it and go and seek a hot chic to give them some well needed attention. This woman could very well become a bigger part of his life than you feel comfortable with.

Lots of talking ahead and lots of growing to do.... just as much as growing a baby.

I hope you have a very solid relationship before getting into babies... you will need it.
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