Originally Posted by Xared
That's the quickest I've ever seen anyone go from "How do I make this work?" to "yeah, I should get out" in this kind of situation. You're right, you're not an idiot.
As for feeling guilty about it, I understand. I've been manipulated with guilt many times, and it took a long time to break free of it. I still occasionally feel guilty about things I shouldn't. It's difficult. You shouldn't feel guilty about this, but telling you that doesn't help.
Which is worse: Ending this relationship, feeling guilty for a little bit, but eventually being happy you got out of it, or staying in the relationship and feeling miserable indefinitely? Either way you're going to feel bad, but you might as well make it temporary.
Also, I'm almost certain all the "my therapist said..." things were complete bullshit he made up to add credibility to his manipulation. There are bad therapists, but they're usually less obvious about it.
Thanks, and yes I agree about the therapist (I suspected that, as he's said things that make me think she wants to date him...strange...yet most people do want to date him from his outward personality around them...I'm cast as crazy).
Usually he will say "I thought you loved me" and "I thought you loved me more than that". Also to the emotional abuse part of it, which he denies is abuse, he says "you provoke me and you know how I am; if you can't take it, don't provoke me".
I guess, I wanted validation too, that the whole situation with his other person is unfair to me (I feel like it is unfair, but he says I don't accept his bisexuality by having a problem with things). I still think the biggest problem about it is the insensitivity and how his other person treated me. There seem to be so many double standards. I wanted someone who understands alternative relationships to say "no, this isn't okay or normal despite what you've heard" because that's how I feel.
I kept waiting for him to change, trying to do things to make the situation better. I'm not perfect and I could have done a lot more I suppose...but I'm so tired. I wish I hadn't ever gotten into this, but how could I have known?