Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
Physical attributes are an extremely small part of romantic love for me. I find lots of people physically attractive...but very few have generated anything remotely considered love. Love is about energy exchange and trust to me..not physical attraction. I consider physical attraction to be a lower brain function driven by an animal desire to procreate. While I enjoy this for what it is, I feel that human intelligence has elevated us above our base instincts IMHO. I don't confuse wanting to have sex with someone with loving them.
While I think you are pointing out a relevant fact about the relationship between sex and love, I think a lot of jealousy and control within monogamous relationships is focussed on sex primarily. For example, when I talk to people about polygamy/polyandry, they seem to view sex as the defining issue instead of family responsibilities. Also, I don't think many people feel jealousy of platonic love that goes on between their partner and others in monogamous relationships. Friendship is not only allowed but encouraged. I think I am the only monogamist whose ever thought that it would be special to have my spouse as my only friend and that ended up causing problems in marriage, so that goes to show that (platonic) polyamory is common.
What is so different about romantic love from platonic love? Isn't it just the amounts of touching that go on and the intensity of the feelings you share?