Co-dependency is a very mono thing. Funny you 2 want to be poly in such a mono sort of way.
My mom was a great woman, full of life. My dad was too dependent on her. When she died, 3 years ago, he gave up on life. He fucking sits in a chair all day long watching news and NASCAR, then hits the bottle at the moment of 4pm like clockwork. Complains he's lonely and the world sucks, when he's got his health and wits, and could be doing so much more than sitting watching TV and doing crosswords all day!
Most of his friends of the same age have stopped inviting him over for dinner, because he never invites them back, or out to a restaurant, his treat. When he does go out to dinner, he drinks way too much too fast, and either nods off at the table or gets all maudlin.
It's too late for him to get a life, but he's 83. You're only 40. Why is your self esteem so low ("she's gonna leave me!" despite all I have read her say here about how she loves you) and why are your self care skills so bad? Is it something from your childhood?
Yeah, my gf gets separation anxiety when I leave her to go to my place for a few days. She gets over it a few minutes after I leave. She never seems to get separation anxiety when I see a lover though. She knows she rocks and that I love her to bits. She trusts that, somehow. Heh, when I have had my young lover D over, when we are done sexin, she'll say, "Awww you both look so glowy," in a maternal sort of way. Then he leaves and I shag her next.