Still more to learn.
I was out with T2 tonight. Wonderful, loving and fun. But I found myself struggling at one point with honesty, emotional.
We were talking about my trips to California and all of the cool people I know, when I was hit with a wall of grief over the death of my friend Ryan in Nov 2010. He was a Police officer, only 27 yrs old, served 2 tours in Iraq, and was killed in the line of duty less then a year after returning home. Ryan was 18 yrs old when I first met him, he was one of the youngest members of a group of hobbyists I belong to, and yet one of the most squared away people I ever met. And I miss him dearly.
The point though, is that I had difficulty showing just how much sadness and grief I still carry for him. I now realize that I've taken no time to process this and that all of that grieving I put off for another day, has in fact arrived.
Since this stroll into Poly started I've made a deal with the universe that I won't lie or hide how I feel when I'm with the people I love ever again, and yet I nearly did. T2 caught it to, She's very observant and already knows me well. Scary really. T2 was awesome, kind loving and gentle, allowed me time to outflow and then get back to our date.
Somewhat humorous that I'd be concerned what she might think of me, when I have my last 3 months of living posted up here for all to see.
Having 3 intelligent, wickedly smart, highly observant women in my life leaves little room for pretense or dishonesty. And in this one area they cut me no slack, and I am a much better man and human being because of it.
Time for sleep. be well folks