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Old 06-17-2011, 05:48 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

Yes, thank you NYCindie. It does help. I follow that way of laying out speeches and topics for discussion, but I think you are right in that I need to figure out what I hope people will walk away with afterward.

Last year it was all about giving some coping strategies that have worked for us and discussing other peoples experiences. This year I don't know if we should stick to that. I guess we will have to all sit down and figure that out.

It is suppose to involve PN also and really it hasn't been his journey so much this past year. Last year we were more about adjusting to Mono's request that we be more poly-fi and ending the free love tangent we were on... now we are more about living day by day family life.

There is not so much emphasis for PN in terms of poly/mono stuff. Its more between Mono and I... especially with the whole Leo thing going on as a new love in my life. PN has been kinda shruggy about all that where as Mono and I have been working on the nuances of that all year almost. Maybe focusing in on what they would find interesting to participate in is a better bet right now as a result. Maybe I'm over thinking again.... IMAGINE THAT!

Thanks Tonberry for your note on sounding negative. I agree. Sometimes it helps to just spit things out and figure out the positive spin on things after. Thanks for helping me do that.

I have been wondering how much poly/mono success comes with age and stage also. I wonder if success (I'm not sure I like that word as no relationship is successful necessarily, functional maybe?) comes from having done some monogamous land marks before entering a relationship with someone that is poly.

I suppose some of it also in attitude, personality and self esteem for mono people. I think it might work better if the person who is mono is able to keep their compersion in going when it comes to their partner. Keep jealousy at bay. It could largely depend on personalities and attitude and values in relationships. It is really quite personal to those attempting to make it work I think. But then aren't all poly relationships too?

I feel as if I am talking myself into thinking that my topic is shit. I don't feel inspired at all on this... it just seems kind of obvious, yet I can't put my finger on it some how. Does that make sense?
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