Originally Posted by redpepper
- Mono relationship structures tend to be more about ownership and control of partners and partnership.
- Mono relationships tend to put "the relationship" on a pedistal of what is accomplished rather than "the individual." The individual effort, pride in personal work and being/acting individually seems to be more important and necessary in poly.
- In mono relationships their tend to be the belief that love is scarce and we should all be holding on to it rather than love is abundant and found everywhere as in many poly relationships
I think you're conflating patriarchy and monogamy. Though I believe that they are mutual reinforcing systems - especially because of how monogamy is most commonly practiced. Monogamy is an efficient way to keep women entrained to their biology while allowing men greater flexibility and control.
They are, however, separate systems in my view. As others have pointed out, you can have monogamy without control, ownership and the like. Of course, you can have poly with huge doses of all that same crap (perhaps more likely in polyfidelity situations). Just because women are complicit in their own sexual and financial indentured servitude via traditional monogamous expectations does not mean its not all about patriachy than anything else.
In essence, monogamy (a "simple" preference or orientation for emotional and sexual exclusivity) is tainted by patriarchy (a system of control and subjugation).