So Friday morning Anne left for Cali to see her whatever-he-is. Violet and I are having a really tough time with how that whole issue is being/has been/whatever handled.
For those not up to date on us, Anne has a long distance thing with a long time friend turned boyfriend cum not sure what they are. He alternately breaks her heart and acts like the boyfriend of the year. She and I re-founded our friendship having long talks about their relationship and pending breakup before everything spilled bout her liking me and Violet. 90% of their relationship is online and by phone and text message. They've only slept together once.
"He" does not know about us. Well, he knows a little about Anne messing around with Vi, but no clue that it's more than a passing interest or that there's a real relationship formed that involves another man; only that she's very good friends with this couple and she fools around with the female half of it every once in a while and the guy doesn't mind.
This has been the last remaining point of contention in our triad; we don't like that he's being lied too, and that she went from discussing her relationship with him with me as a friend almost daily and coming to me for support to complete cessation of discussion about him once westarted dating - she's uncomfortable about it now. I could care less where she is with him jealousy-wise - it's being kept in the dark that drives me nuts, and Violet too.
So all week we danced around the issue, and finally Thursday night while Anne and I were on our first real date and night together in weeks I pinned her down about it. Not about where she's at with him, but about the ongoing "need to know" attitude toward us about him, about how she had said she would work on that and hadn't done much there.
It went well enough. I know where she's at with him - mostly. Specifically, she is confused on how to part wys with that relationship and maintain the friendship with him, and is still dealing with "closing that chapter" and "seeing it through". I explained that that was fine - but how could we 3 all share each others lives completely when this part of her was a total mystery to Violet and me? I received many and lengthy assurances about how she was more in love with us than she's ever been in her life and that she was completely committed to this relationship. Which was good.
Except that I'm still going crazy knowing she's there and with him, and that on this end we're still not sure what that means for us. Is she breaking it off with him? Are they enjoying their time together - so rare for them - and reconnecting in new and wonderful ways? If so, does that effect her desire to be with us? Is she coming clean with him about us? Or continuing to lie, knowing what he would do (or so she thinks - but he IS the jealous type, so she's likely very right)?
The really annoying bit is that when she's with us, she will answer his texts or calls, leaving the room if need be - but she won't talk to or text either of us while she's with him, because he wouldn't understand what's going on.
EDIT - Violet corrected me. She is responding to Vi's texts, but mostly on small-talk how are the dogs type stuff. So only mine are ignored in his presence.