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Old 10-11-2009, 12:23 AM
blackbird blackbird is offline
New Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 1
Default Being the Third Wheel.

Hey folks,

So, I'm relatively new to polyamory and the past few months, since I've been involved in open relationships, I've never felt so myself before.

But I need some advice about being the third wheel - something that's made me pretty lonely lately.


I've been in an open relationship with a good activist friend of mine (D) for the past few months. Our dynamic is made up mostly of sex and pillow talk.
D and M, a female friend of mine (who I'm not sexually engaged with), have been intense lovers for some time - bonded in a way he and I never have been.
When all three of us, who are politically active together, hang around each other, I can't help but feel left out, alittle awkward. They gently stroke each others hands and are constantly engaged in conversation that I can never really include myself in.
D doesn't seem to want to show much affection with me when M is there.

I tend to feel as if I have no right to be there, when they're together, though M tries to include me by being affectionate, by constantly asking in general terms "how I'm doing" or kissing me gently on the cheek.

I love them both and don't really feel any animosity. But I do feel very alone (i'm not really engaged in any other relationships for now). I'd love to be able to hang around with them in a group, but it's so much harder.

As the third wheel, what should I do?
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