Last night I made an awesome discovery!! A lot of stuff has been piling up lately and, as per the norm, Redpepper and me did lots of self-analysis and checked in seriously with each other. We gave each other the freedom and choice to take different paths and change the nature of our loves expression. We have done this several times and once again we chose to love each other the way we are meant to.
My connection and energy were both withdrawn though and we both knew it...physically I can't hide it...nothing "happens" shall we say
I'm completely non-sexual when not intimately connected to someone. (I would make the worst porn star!)
Because I hate being withdrawn and I know it hurts her as well I tried something different. I showed her where I feel my energy and connection resides inside me and asked her to help me let it out. I placed her hand there and as she spoke to me about what she felt and how much this means to her we were able to open it up, free my connection and let her into me.
She knows when I am not accepting her love and when I am not connected and withdrawn. Now I feel as though we have a way of consciously working together when that happens...that for me is another success!!