Originally Posted by polyexplorer
So my question is, if indeed it is true that she there is a decisive point still to be reached, a tipping point if you like where one can want the poly life for their partner even though they themselves don't want it for themselves, how does this decisive point get reached? Perhaps a complex question, but I'd be interested in responses...
That's a tough question my friend. Does she really know what you want from poly? Do you? Poly is a such a broad term. Some people find a need to only have one other partner that they fell in love with...others see poly as a philosophical way to live life always open to new relationships. One is easier to come to terms with for a partner who isn't poly I think.
Maybe the decisive point never gets reached and neither of you fully get the completeness you want from this relationship. I want Redpepper to always have her husband....but I am the boyfriend. If I was her husband I doubt if I could ever "want" poly for her. Our situation is vastly different from my perspective.
Patience and lots of talk. If this is something you truly need you have to be willing to assume some risk to achieve it. Gently push for what you want and work through it regardless of what that looks like. Ultimately, both of you need to be healthy, happy and fulfilled.