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Old 05-09-2009, 12:25 PM
cosand cosand is offline
New Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 4

Originally Posted by Ember View Post
I will copy the start of the story from the introduction thread...

"My husband and I have been together nearly 7 years. We have 2 small children at home that I care for full time. We started swinging in October so I could have relations with women, which I'd been missing. I'd always known I love a big family. I enjoy the old way of a lot of adult family members living together. I'm a care taker and have a lot of love to share. I had offhandedly mentioned this to my husband and he never had a problem with it that he mentioned to me. In the course of our swinging we've found a couple that we are so compatible with it's nearly crazy. It's like we've met a mix of ourselves in this other couple. I mentioned direction of our 'relationship' to my husband last night and he stated he wouldn't mind growing a long term loving relationship with these folks and I agreed that it sounded like a good idea. We have entered the poly mindset I believe and I've come here for guidance and support for our journey."

And I will continue. After my husband and I spoke of our preferences we decided to bring it to the other couple. We didn't want to lead ourselves somewhere with complacency and them not have any idea what was going on. I discussed it with the Other Husband (OH) so he would discuss it with the Other Wife (OW). OH declared that he'd rather have us as 'vanilla' (non sexual) friends than go toward romance. OW said she was satisfied with our 'friends with benefits' situation. Though I'm a little hurt by OH's preference to loose the little closeness we have now I'm glad that OW would like to keep our benefits going.

I'm hoping I can contain my emotional attachment and keep it at a more platonic level through this experience. My husband has been quite supportive and understanding of this journey and I think it'll go super if we can actually find folks that have the same interests/ideals AND are willing to find love along with the sex.

So on to my question. While most of our swinging is very separate from our lives we have a couple friends who share two circles, such as the a fore mentioned couple. Should we seek poly love outside the Swing Scene or is that a prime place to cultivate such relationships as long as we honestly present ourselves?

The first step is always the hardest.

All 3 of us (myself, my wife and my girlfriend) are in the swing scene, and I can tell you that it makes a complicated situation even more complicated. (Although the women handle it better then I most of the time) In addition to issues between the three of us, we also have to deal with issues concerning relationships with others as well. Donít get me wrong, we have all 3 worked our asses off and shared hours of discussion , laughter , hugs and tears to carve out what has become an awesome arrangement, and we enjoy and embrace the swing scene, but there is no doubt in my m in that it all would be so much easier without the swing lifestyle component, so DO proceed with extreme caution
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