That's OK. I wouldn't say I'm happy having an open relationship - the concept was there, and yep, I wish she had talked to me first, or immediately after the one-nighter. That would have been different. Still debating whether I should leave her. She becomes very self-centered/me-first when she has been drinking, but when she is sober, she is phenomenol as a person.
And she didn't use protection either (he's had a vasectomy, but he has unprotected sex with his partner, and who knows what she's up to?) She said she was taking an educated risk, and the sex would not have worked if he wore a condom (he can't rise to the occasion as it is half the time apparently).
But it was a risk with my health and life, and that of our daughter as well just for the sake of having more enjoyable sex - you don't take those types of chances without someone's consent in my view.
Sigh. So much to work through. If I do allow the relationship to continue, he uses protection, fullstop.