Originally Posted by Bangel
My needs and wants should be met as well right?
I think what works best is for us to look upon all of our relationships as opportunities to share and expand our loving, and this includes the receiving and giving of love (though, ultimately, we realize that love transcends even giving and receiving, since it is part of our essential nature). It's not just about giving and giving all the time. Part of the practice of opening to love is learning how to receive it, allow it "in".
But if you want to experience a vast improvement really fast in your love life, examine closely, by feeling into it, what the source of love is. We make a mistake when we see our partners as our source for love and ourselves as one in need of that substance, out there, over there. And this image of love can be dreadfully difficult to give up! Perhaps especially for a guy like myself who wasn't loved properly at home as a child. For we will cling to an image of love when we're not growing in the experience of love, because we're too hungry and desperate to let go of the surrogate. (Any image of love is a surrogate for love -- which is why I'm practicing releasing all such images.)
This doesn't mean that we alone
must be the source of love. That's not it, either. The problem with this notion is that we ourselves are not we alone
. We're always with-together. We're together with all of life, all of Earth, every plant animal and person, the whole universe in all of its unfathomable dimentions.
This ultimate and universal togetherness of all things is itself love. The source of love is quite literally everything! This is a radically different notion of love than the one we were raised up with -- which imagined love as scarce, limited, small.... And we are this! Scarcity is just a sad illusion.