Originally Posted by clairegoad
While there may be a good explanation, if someone has been arrested--- you can learn a lot by how they explain that "mistake." If the felonies were violent, if they were stealing others' money, if they were crimes against children or the elderly.... that says a lot about a person.
I have to agree with this.
We (LT and I) felt that since he opened up and told us that he was currently ON probation, it was fair game to research. While I didn't pay anything for the search, I still am able to conduct one. In fact, here in Florida, arrest records are all public information. So if you know the county of the arrest, you can look it up on that counties website. Usually, if you ask simple questions about the person's past residence's, and find out where all they have lived, you can find out anything you want to about them. The internet is a wonderful thing. The problem, is that often times, we will make snap decisions based on the info we find. Sometimes, those decisions are a good thing.....Others, not so much.
In our case, he had been arrested in 04,05,06, again in 07 with prison time in 07, and another arrest in 2010. So it looks like he was TRYING to clean up after 07. The one in 2010, was a driving while license suspended IIRC, and here in Florida, we kinda overlook that specific charge. Why? Because in Floriduh, the state can, and DOES suspend your license for things such as unpaid child support or unpaid car insurance. These license suspensions are often without any kind of notice, so HERE, it is best to check your license every couple months or so to prevent such a thing from happening. The cops DO know if you have been notified and RESPONDED to your license revokation or not also. So if they see it was not known about, they will often times give you a warning, and log it into the state system that now you know.
We are currently talking to this guy to see how he is explaining it out. He shamefully admitted to all of it. He said he was embarrassed about it all. He said he felt like he was under a micro scope. LT told him that we do this sort of thing to protect ourselves nd those we are CURRENTLY involved with, and if that bothered him, she was sorry. But it was something we HAD to do.
As for cultural differences, well...Here in the states it is COMMON to do a background check on someone. I actually get kinda relieved when someone tells me they are going to do one on me. I always tell people I'm wanting to get to know "better", about MY past. I got arrested and served jail time. ONCE....21 years ago. And haven't been in trouble since. It was a nice drunken night, and I wound up in jail.
But eh....Whatever. I did my time and I stayed clean ever since.
This guy is YOUNG. LOL He is only 25. (LT is a cougar! LOL) I am 40, and LT is 39. So this guy reminds me a lot of myself. And the things he did, are not completely unlike anything I would have done at the same age. So we can overlook a lot of things.
But MY issue, was we told him (and I QUOTE) "All we ask, is that you are honest with us, and yourself". And he was not completely honest. However, he did not DENY anything once called out. So, that spoke volumes to me.