I have to agree with NYC.
It sounds like this man has, through years of emotional betrayal and abuse (and yes, that's what it is) transitioned you from loving wife to obedient but unwitting slave.
Any man who is under the delusion that all he need do is keep a woman physically safe from starvation and with a place to sleep and yet thinks he should still be able to expect unlimited loyalty, forgiveness, and care taking, is just that: DELUSIONAL.
You are worth so much more than that kind of treatment.
How do you really think he would react if you told him you were going to see other men, and then followed through? What if you informed him that he was not important enough to you to do more than make sure he gets an occasional good meal? What if you said "honey, I'm bored with you. I need a nighttime dalliance.". How would he really react? I sincerely doubt it would even resemble "that's great honey! I am glad to see you are a strong, beautiful, independant woman who makes her own choices!"
With all my heart I will love and not fail,
With all my soul I will fly and not fall.