You all need to accept that YOU ARE the "first wife". it is what it is. There was a conversation about this in another thread. About not forcing "equality". If you are trying so hard to "be equal" there is obvious something that just "is" NOT EQUAL, and rather than fighting it, you's should be exploring it. If you deny the UN-EQUALNESS now, you might never end up at a place where you "are equal".
having said that - if you have a kid with your husband, you will not only be "first wife" but you will be "parents". You and he will have a whole new level of relationship between you, in essence a "triad" with the new baby. Why should this GF be able to dictate to you how you raise your own kid? Why can't you put your foot down when it comes to that?
Are you sure you want these things in your life? Or are you going along with some or all of it to keep your husband happy?
I can't even bring myself to say much more because I can't find words to describe it, and who am I to tell you what to do with yourself. All I know is, I would not bring an innocent person (a baby) who has no say in matters, into a situation with so many loose ends.
Last edited by NeonKaos; 10-09-2009 at 01:24 PM.