It isn't fair, really. He's across the country, all he has to do is work and have fun with his new GF. You're home, maintaining a house, working, going to school and taking care of your(HIS) kids! You probably don't even have time to look on okc for a date, much less actually date.
As for being a people pleaser, my ex (note- "ex") was the same way. It was one of the reasons I broke up with him. He'd do too much for others, just so they would love him, and then he'd always resent not getting "enough" (whatever that would be) respect or appreciation for what he did. Now that we've been broken up for 2 years, he is still struggling with this... maybe getting a bit better at it because he was forced to look more at himself since I dumped him.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
There's no lying in polyamory!
I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)